CSM, she is juz a normal girl, like any other girls in this world. She grows up to be a woman like the others also. So, nothing special right? In her opinion, she always think she is very normal, nothing special. Each time a new buddy in msn or either real life asks her to introduce herself, she always reply that " I m just normal, and that all!". What a boring answer is it? However, she juz dunno how to express herself. Maybe she got some sort of talent, but she juz can't show and prove it out. Coz she thinks, there are more expert out there in the world. Or maybe the opponent is the expert himself or herself. Why not she want to disgrace herself, she always think like that. Maybe it is the reality of living in this world, loser scram and the winner stay. She gains and discovers this fact from experience.
CXM likes to draw since small. She likes to pick up the color pencil and start her sketching. Draw everything from her view. However, she did not get what she want. Even if she joined the competition, she did not win too. Even if she had tried her best.And her mom always blamed her for not put in more effort as well. She was very dissapointed with everything around her. However, she still keep the thought to carry on, forefill her destiny and ambition. But, until now CSM seldom picks up her pencil and start sketching d. It is due to the confusion and problem that surrounded her. She becomes so confuse and lost in her way, hoping that she can find back her interest and hobby.
CXM likes to read, in order to gain more knowledges. She would cry after she read Chicken Soup. It is because she have the feeling as what had happened to the author in the book. Her parent divorced since she was 13 years old. Her dad kept walked out of the house after her mum requested for divorce. After that, her perspective and view regarding the boys was changed. She started to think that all guys in this world are heartless. She started to beware of them, analysis them when they communicated with her. She continued to do so until she met her first MR right when she was 20 years old. They being together for more than one month, but disaster happened. He left CSM to work in Singapore. They broke up due to the long distance. CSM lost hope again. She never been so hurt before. She still don't want to accept the fact that he was leaving her forever, without a single contact also. And then he also started a new life with new partner. And so does CSM now.
She is now an art student in a local university. She struggles hard to achieve her dream and ambition. She is with her latest bf. They are very happy with their relationship. However, they broke up once. It is because CSM assumed that she going to study in outstation. So they cannot see each other anymore. CSM also dunno y her bf wanna break up with her. She is confused. She cried whole night. The memory of her parent divorcement appeared in her mind again. After all this year, she still cannot get rid of those bad memories. She just want to to find a guy that can cherish her and care about her and be with her all the times. She was very down that times. She never been so sacrificed for any guys all this long. She gave what she had for that guys but in the end, it was all over. She loved that guy so much. However, she cannot read that guy mind and thought. He was always being mysterious and kept everything in his heart. She feel unsecured. However, the guy back to him after one month. She accepted the guy back. Coz she still loved him. He still in her heart all this long. But, she dunno what tat guy thinking also. She puts her efforts to understand tat guy life and his feeling. She is being tolerant with him, care about him. She hopes that guy will appreciate what she hv done to her all this long, even she cannot help him much in his career. All in all, she want tat guy to know that she is ready to sacrifice for him. She already into him, fall in love deeply with him. She juz want him to know that reality. His every move and thinking deeply influenced her. She worry about him all the times. She will change her attitude because of him.
Maybe CSM is an ordinary girl for now, but she dun want it to last like that forever. She will continue to strike for her future. She dun want to see her future being at stake. Maybe the hustle and bustle life she was facing now confused her, but she keep finding back who she really is now. Gambateh, CSM. Hope your life is super extra ordinary in the future. From the bottom of my heart, i swear, u will be the most shinning diamond if u really work hard for what u wish for.
